I’m having a fight with science.  It’s just dumb. 

First of all, today is the Winter Solstice, which means it’s the shortest day of the year, right?  Well, if the days are just going to get longer from here, how can it only be the first day of winter?  Shouldn’t it be the middle day of winter? 

Second, pi.  A non-repeating, non-terminating number?  Bullshit.  So, pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter.  How could it be possible to measure a circle so precisely that you could have more than a couple of significant figures?  I know those ancient greeks were wicked smart at math, but still.  Therefore, unless someone can give me an excellent explanation for how this is possible, from here on out, I stand on principle that pi = 3.14.  That’s enough.

I have one more day of work this year.  Hells yeah.  I got 90% of the stuff I need to finish before I go on vacation done today, and the rest is in a tidy pile on my desk for tomorrow.  And I still had time to set a new MINESWEEPER HIGH SCORE:

And I got this too:

Yeah, my job is super lame.
 

Read Comments Leave Comments  12/21/05

I've learned something shameful about my family, and I'm going to share it here.

Ready?

I have a relative named Cletus.

I know, I know, I'm as shocked as you are.  I went to church with my grandma last night and the priest mentioned "Cletus Johannesmeyer, who passed away just over a year ago."  And I know I'm related to all the Johannesmeyers in that town.

Turns out it was my Great-Uncle Pete.  I never knew Uncle Pete was actually a Cletus--my mom says she doesn't even remember anybody calling him that, just Pete.

Also, my Grandma is now 85.  Go, Grandma.  All my domesticity was well regarded by everyone, including Jen, who sat on my couch and ate a huge chunk of it ice cold (I was trying to give her leftovers to take home).
 

Read Comments Leave Comments  12/18/05

Tonight Gretchen & I went to see The Family Stone.  Sarah Jessica Parker is super uptight and spending Christmas with her boyfriend's super bohemian family.  Sounds like a sweet, funny holiday film--maybe with a heartwarming lesson inside?

Yeah, and here's the lesson:  Don't Smoke Crack!  Because clearly the person who wrote this movie did.  It's got it's funny moments, but the movie is basically creepy and weird.  I did not care for it at all.

Tomorrow I'm leaving (at 9am no less) to drive out into the middle of nowhere to celebrate my grandma's 8#th birthday.  And just to prove to her that I am capable of fending for myself (because I think she worries about me), I made a lasagna & baked her a cake.  A very successful evening of domesticity if I do say so myself.  We'll see if I still feel that way after we eat it all tomorrow.
 

I'm in the middle of reading all the Harry Potter books in a row, so I'm not gonna pretend that I have something else to discuss.

I was looking at Harry & the Potters' website and they had a list of the Top 5 Scenes You Won't See in the Goblet of Fire Movie (see, because they ARE Harry Potter, they know things that happened and were left out).

This is my favorite one: 
 

They also have a Christmas album.  How funny is that?  I think they're really excited about the Ginny thing, because both of the songs of theirs that I've heard from book 6 are about Ginny.

Speaking of Ginny:  I was talking to Katie from Boston and she said she believes that Harry & Ginny had sex down by the lake at the end of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.  This is the part in question:
 

Unless this is the part she means:
 

But that's right at the very moment when they first kissed, so that seems ridiculous to me.  If you are a Harry Potter fan, post a comment about whether you agree with me or Katie.
 

Perfectly nice sentence:

The ACTUAL line from Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix:

You're just nasty, JK Rowling.  Click here to read a whole page of out of context lines from Order of the Phoenix.  A lot of references to people's "wands."

Gilmore Girls Season 5 came out today.  This is the first one I didn't pre-order.  I'm hoping somebody buys it for me for Christmas, but since I've bought myself every other one, that's probably not going to happen.

Harry Potter Posts: 8
Non-Potter Posts: 7
 

This is Bobby, of the aforementioned "I RIPPED MY PANTS!" incident.  Recently he was asked the typical Christmas question "Have you been naughty or nice?" to which he replied: "Naughty, I'm getting coal."

He looks like he's pondering it, doesn't he?

I am disappointed in John Cusack.  The Ice Harvest sucked ass.  It was not even funny at all, it was just violent and depressing.  Egon, I am disappointed in you!  (Harold Ramis, AKA Egon Spangler, directed this piece of crap.) 
 

I experienced a miracle today after church.  I went to the Florissant Target in search of Harry Potter & the Chamber of Secrets--I got a rain check on Black Friday & it expires on 1/10.  I called there this afternoon and they said they had some copies.  But when I went tonight, I checked the shelf and all they had was a crapload of Harry Potter 1.  I was sad.  So I wandered around a little bit--when I found another rack with Harry Potter DVDs!!!  Again, nothing but Sorcerer's Stone.  Sadness. 

My mom insisted on asking the clerk in the electronics department if they had any.  She looked something up in the computer and said they didn't have any copies.  So we back toward the entrance.  My mom was trying to cheer me up by giving me a strategy for checking on it in the next couple weeks as we passed the registers.  To the left I catch a glimpse of Harry Potter on a register endcap--AND IT WAS THE RIGHT ONE!!!  It was in the empty slot where Snow Dogs was supposed to be.  It was glorious.

In other remarkable news: I got a new best time for minesweeper, check it out--85 seconds on expert!  I swear that this image has not been altered.  I'm just that awesome. :)

I was listening to my ipod at work today and The River, by Joni Mitchell came on.  I think it's about the most depressing Christmas song I can think of.  Special prize to anybody who posts a sadder Christmas song in the comments.  The only guidelines is that it has to take place at Christmas or be about Christmas (and be sad).

Harry Potter Posts: 7
Non-Potter Posts: 6
 

Read Comments Leave Comments  12/7/05

I was watching "How I Met Your Mother" tonight, when I heard a phrase that offended me to my core.  Are you ready for it?
 

Uh, Kim.  You're a weird freak-o.  Why in the world would that offend you?  You've never even been to Buffalo.

True dat.

HOWEVER: I do know Lisa Nasca, and she is VERY cute, and VERY from Buffalo.  I am offended on her behalf.  Neil Patrick Harris and Writer, who do you think you are?

Evidence:

See? Cute.

On an unrelated note, Gretchen and I have decided to take Jessica Simpson under our wings.  We're going to help develop her into a better person.  We're going to start off by getting her to read a book.  I'm recommending "Horton Hears a Who."  It's a bit of a mystery, I think that will intrigue her.

Also, Gretchen said I can't call her child Slug after it is born.  Single tear.  Pouty lip.

Randomly:  I've taken to using the terms "Freak-o" and "Crazytown" lately.  Anybody have any ideas where I may have gotten that from?

SKINNY NOTE:  I've lost over 6", 4 pounds & 1% body fat.  My pants are looser.
 

Read Comments Leave Comments  12/5/05

Yesterday, I went to a sneak preview of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe.  It was good.  Long though.  Two & a half hours.  How do they expect little children to hold it for that long?  They stayed pretty true to the original story, as well as I could remember it.  Only one significant change that I noticed, and it was particularly weird considering this is a Disney movie: [The Pevensie parents got to live.  In the book, they both died (damn WWII!), and that's why the kids were sent to live with the professor, but in this one Mom just sends them away to get out of danger in London.]

The tiny squares are done!  I finished glueing the last of them down last night.  I think I'm going to stop with just the squares, because it looks pretty good--just a few layers of polyurethane and I'm finished!!  Tours will be starting shortly, tickets are available at Ticketmaster.  Or you could just stop by & I'll show it to you.